I may be the only one who finds this funny and I’m ok with that

No, there are no gratuitous quotation marks to share, at least not yet. Let’s talk about the Crowne Plaza Birmingham.

Michelle and I stayed here last year and the stay was quite awful. We knew the hotel was undergoing huge renovations, however, so the possibility of newness combined with the 32-pounds/night promo code I found were enough to convince me to try it again. I must say, it’s probably the most remarkable hotel transformation I’ve seen, with only one detail in the entire place the same. The rooms are completely different (much, much better), the outside is different and, well, so is almost everything else. Almost.

Here’s a somewhat awful shot of the place from the outside.

The staff told me they spent 50 million pounds or some such on the renovation. This is what makes the glaring ommission so odd. Here is the view from outside my window. It’s an abandoned open-air underground carpark, which is just so bad from conception to current state. (“Hey, let’s have underground parking but without any of the advantages of being underground, like being secure and away from the elements!”)

What a great view!

So, they decided not to fill it in during the massive renovation. But it gets better. I started out on my AM walk this morning and I noticed something…

Then, I got closer. Nothing says 5-star hotel like this scene a few steps outside the lobby:

Not sure what it was at first...

Apparently, this is now an abandoned carpark/old office supply storage area. It’s just what you want for your romantic getaway. It’s just missing some gratuitous quotation marks…

Base of Operations in London: Le Meridien Piccadilly

This is my base of operations and will also be where Brey and Tamara are staying in July on their honeymoon for a few days. It’s pretty sweet and looking at the room price, well, let’s just say thank goodness for Starwood points.

I'm on the top floor, with a view of the London Eye and Piccadilly Circus

From just outside the hotel

Jewellery Quarter tour with Panna

One of the many things that makes Birmingham underrated is the Jewellery Quarter, an area that has been massively influential in the style of the Western world. (I’m trying on the local spelling for size, by the way.) Rather than take my word for it, spend a minute at this site and you’ll see what I mean about the heritage of the place.

I’m not a big jewellery guy. In fact, that’s quite an understatement. It’s amazing when I remember to put on my watch, frankly. However, I have an entirely new appreciation of the craft after spending a few days in Birmingham. I know now that I just haven’t been to the right places. For me, it’s very exciting to be introduced to the inner workings of a world I know nothing about and Panna tutored me in the world of jewelry Saturday night and Monday morning. She crafts some of her own jewelry, having been trained at Birmingham’s world-renowned school (see below for one of her creations) and she has done her MBA in International Business, with an eye to taking the Jewelry Quarter to an entirely new level. (By the way, I think Ravi will be running Villa in the future while Panna will be the mayor of Birmingham.) Panna helped me understand more about the business and the craft on Saturday night, while providing me with a guided tour of the district today, replete with history and background on several individual shops.

Panna made this for herself -- the intricacy impressed the heck out of me

There are three things that stood out for me in today’s tour.

First, I had no idea about the detail involved in the jewelry business, from acquisition to design to production. There are several shops in the jewelry quarter, for instance, who specialise in nothing but polishing or engraving. Many of these specialists produce the products eventually sold in London and New York boutiques with about a 5000% markup. Second, I really enjoyed the architecture of the area. It was block upon block of small lofts, Victorian or Georgian buildings housing the same family name of craftspeople who were there upon origination of the building. I was very surprised that the area had not consolidated into one of two firms but rather had kept the family and individual entrepreneurial characteristics of its origins. It’s cool. I wish I had a day to spend here watching these people work. Finally, I need to come clean: I like the jewelry they make in Birmingham. I wouldn’t wear it (I’m just not that guy) but I’ve now seen stuff I would buy for others. It’s always one-of-a-kind stuff because more often than not, the craftspeople who make the stuff, make only one of each. Panna allowed me to use her lens to look closely at the construction of some of the items, which was quite illuminating.

I have to say that there is nothing like having a tour from someone who is passionate and knowledgeable of her subject and Panna provided that for me today. I learned things that exposed my laughable ignorance — my newfound knowledge that sapphires come in colours other than blue, for instance — and I learned how isolating some of this specialist work can be. “Sometimes, some of these specialists can get rather accustomed to their own company,” Panna noted. Panna was kind enough not to laugh at my ignorance, for which I remain grateful. At every place we stopped, she was able to teach me about what was good, what was different, and explained why at every turn. I especially enjoyed when one clerk lied to her about the origins of the work in the store; it was clear they were run-of-the-mill imports to her, though I’d have been fooled easily. We left quickly. Thanks again, Panna. I’m a fortunate guy, that’s for sure.

I booked advance, non-refundable train tickets for the huge discount they provide and I’m a cheap son-of-a-gun, so we raced back to the city centre and I just made the train. It was quite a drive and I’ve decided that I want Panna to be my driver any time I’m in a hurry.

Michelle, Panna is eagerly awaiting your visit and has asked that we budget some real time for tours and to see some real specialists in action.

Pictures of the JQ tour below, with one of the highlights being the cool door of the JQ Association. If anyone is interested, I have lots more I can show you upon my return.

The large clocktower that marks the start of the JQ

The JQ museum, considered one of the best museums in Europe apparently

Yes, there are specialists who make only pens.

Signs like these are everywhere

I'm not sure how they make buildings like this work but they do

The door to the association headquarters

Some of the details, closer up

Birmingham: 7AM, Bank Holiday Monday

It’s a great city. Just ask these guys.

Broad Street was madness six hours before

I want a canal boat and I'm man enough to admit it

This is why you have to pass a test to run one of these boats

He reacted to my photography better than the newsagent in London

Canalside pubs and restos are common

One of the canal crossing points is at the brilliant Mailbox development

Did not hit Wembley today, did hit the pub

Downpour has begun, so I’ll post the rest of the backlog. Imperial War Museum, Southwark Cathedral and The City on the agenda tomorrow, all by foot.

On the recommendation of Jacques the concierge at my hotel, I went here for the outstanding Championship final:
The Sports Cafe

Given the location of the pub so near Trafalgar Square, I expected a sedate and touristy atmosphere. I was pleasantly surprised to arrive at a pub with few neutrals, split 60-40 between Burnley and Sheffield fans, many in costume. The game was great, probably with lots more action and grit than the CL final will feature Wednesday night, and the atmosphere in the pub was excellent. In speaking with some of my fellow imbibers, I found out that there isn’t all that much to do in Burnley, so many of the city’s people move to London for their career but remain loyal to their team. It was similar for the Sheffield fans. I can say with the utmost of confidence that neither team attracts glory-hunters, so these were passionate, fun people. If there are any places in England considered less fashionable than Birmingham, I’d have to imagine Sheffield and Burnley are in that discussion.

Congratulations to Burnley for their first-ever promotion to the Premiership. They are a very small but spirited club and just the one entry into the PL, if invested wisely, could secure the club’s future for the long term. I thought poor Sheffield were denied a definite penalty and I maintain hope that they will get their revenge on London some day soon.

I should also say that I love the Championship and wish we were able to see more of it in Canada. I’ll say more about that in a future post.

We were served by a waitress that was from an Eastern European nation of indeterminate origin and I understood about every other word she said. There were times that we weren’t certain what we’d ordered but we ended up happy nonetheless. The quality of food you can get in a pub here for four pounds is amazing.

For Roddy, Cory and Trevor: Jacques the concierge is an immense Arsenal fan and goes to the Emirates for six or seven games per year, more if tips are excellent. He believes he can convert me into an Arsenal fan and was in shock that I’d even consider visiting Birmingham. I told him that I won’t give in to the cartel and that I love Birmigham. After a fun discussion, I became what I would call an object of curiosity to him, with enough knowledge to command respect yet having made what he would consider horribly unwise choices. He maintained that a single visit to Emirates would convert me. He’s wrong — I like my odds of converting a few Arsenal fans there, frankly — but I digress.

He had some advice for when we visit London. He said that we could try the Tottenham-Arsenal derby (typically one of the best games on the calendar) but that they no longer sell any neutral tickets at all for these games, so that one of Cory or Roddy would have to go deep undercover, cheering at nothing, not even hinting at opposition fandom. While the whole covert ops thing sounds fun, I suspect the novelty would wear off rather quickly. He recommended instead that we find one of the rare weekends when both teams are playing at home. Let me know what you think.

Headlines we’re unlikely to see in the Leader-Post

Murray Mandryk claims the L-P has...

The cashier at the news agent gave me the oddest look when I started taking pictures of the newsstand. My gum purchase didn’t do much to change his look, unfortunately.

Canadian ubiquity is subtle

Who knew you could find Timmy's near Picadilly?

Well, I had to do it at least once (Image Fixed)

As healthy as eating three bags of Chipnuts at once

Pictured above is what is known as a Full English breakfast. What may not be apparent from the picture is that there are two different kinds of sausage in there and, better still, the fried egg is placed upon a piece of fried bread. Yes, that’s not a typo. As partial recompense to my arteries for this admittedly delicious assault, I’ve walked about 12k today and visited the hotel gym tonight. I imagine that takes care of about 1/8th of the damage from breakfast.

I’m finding it difficult to understand why I don’t run into more morbidly obese people here.

Some cool stuff Ravi’s been up to (warning: partial soccer stuff)

Ravi works in marketing at Villa and has a special mandate to grow new audiences for the club.

Birmingham is in the midst of a demographic transition similar to that of Vancouver in the ’80s and early ’90s, from a predominantly European city to a city with a majority Asian immigrant population. Any major transition brings challenges and opportunities and in keeping with the class I’ve come to expect at Villa, the emphasis is on the latter. Amongst many other initiatives, Ravi made sure Villa played role in the major Sikh festival this year, including the creation of custom kit:

A closer look; Ravi had to get approval from MON for this to work

Initiatives like those above are the way forward and I hope to see Villa as the leading club for Punjabi speakers in a few years. Frankly, with his drive and ideas, I also expect that Ravi will be running the place in a few years, too.

I have some London exploring to do now, so Jewellery Quarter and related pics will have to wait for later. For a transitional day, this has been a blast. I’m not really getting any sleep, which I’ll pay for soon enough, but I’m having a blast.

Newcastle United and their players (warning: soccer stuff)

I’m eating dinner in the lounge here in London and thought I’d finish some thoughts on yesterday’s game. I expressed some ambivalence about Newcastle’s fans, in that they were out in force (good), loud (good), yet stunningly classless at the same time (not so good.) I’ve heard a few reports of racist chants from the away end but I didn’t hear any myself and every fan group in every sport has some retrograde morons in the ranks.

I haven’t any ambivalence about Newcastle’s players. On yesterday’s evidence, they were not just right and properly relegated, they were shameful in defeat. This was a Villa team ripe for the taking, having won 1 in 15 games (not a typo), having already locked up a Europa League position for next year, obviously tired, and remarkably wasteful of their chances. (The last of these being the story of Villa’s season from February onwards.) Villa were also without two of their starting four defenders, with another playing with a mild (?) dislocated shoulder in a harness all game. By all rights, Villa had little to play for and Newcastle had the future of the club to play for on Sunday. Or, so one would think.

Villa had the run of play for most of the game, with Newcastle creating perhaps two clear chances all game, one a poor miss by Martins, who did at least seem to try. More than the poor play was what I saw to be indifferent play from most of the Newkie crew; few passes completed, Villa runs unchallenged, Villa players first to most headers, and acres of space for Stilyan Petrov to run at almost all times. (I love Petrov, he was our player of the year, but I run faster than he does.) Barry and Carew missed open nets (Carew most comically, followed by an apologetic gesture to the fans), Gabby shot just over the crossbar, and Milner squandered some great opportunities, too. This really should have been a 4-0 game, yet Villa had comparatively little to play for on Sunday. I found the lack of effort by the Newcastle players shameful, especially given that a mere draw would have kept Newcastle in the Premier League.

Well, you might say, don’t Newcastle just flat out suck? It’s true, they are poor. But I’m talking about lack of effort, not lack of talent. For me, the former was noticeable on Sunday in one of the biggest games in the history of the club. The wage bill and transfer fees on that roster also likely far exceed those of Villa.

Michael Owen, who has found a graveyard for his career in Newcastle, was spectacularly ineffective when brought on with 25 minutes to go. Granted, he’s still hurt (when is he not?) but watching both Cuellar and Davies (injured shoulder and all) swat him aside with ease was an eye-opener. Owen finished the game without creating a single opportunity. Owen is paid 115,000 Pounds per week, or about 200,000 CAD per week. I believe Nicky Butt put in a real effort and Martins was game, though everyone else should hang their heads in shame.

It’s not just the lack of effort that stood out, it was also the lack of sportsmanship and that’s why I’m writing this post. As the game appeared out of reach to the Newcastle team (at 1-0!), they began to commit cheap, hard fouls on Villa players in the last ten minutes. Yes, rather than attempting a comeback when a single goal would have saved them, these ‘brave lads’ from the north resorting to attempting to cause injury to Villa players. In typical fashion, they seemed to pay special attention to Ashley Young, Villa’s smallest player.

Young in a heap after another Newcastle cheap shot

Edgar was sent off after yet another foul on Young

Now, the one thing keeping Young from being my Villa favourite is his penchant for diving. I hate that. However, these were no dives and the officials saw that; they were attempts to injure. As I said, it was a shameful performance.

According to a Sky Sports graphic this morning, forty percent of relegated clubs never make it back and a further twenty-seven percent take more than three years to do so. On yesterday’s evidence, I’d say the current Newcastle roster lack the bottle for the Championship, let alone for a return to the PL. Buh-bye.